Such a sweet and tender hooligan, that Morrissey. Now you can at least dream about holding him in the palm of your hand.
Kate Park is a British knitter who has created a fair number of mini-Morrissey dolls, in various stages of dress and undress, glorious pompadour solidly in place. It’s caused a sensation online; so much so that Park has been bombarded with requests.
Sadly, there’s none to be had: On her site she says there are no dolls available right now: “Due to more enquiries than I can handle, my email is on auto reply until further notice.”
Stretch out and wait, or go to ebay.
Park’s rules for creating these furry gems are simple: She makes clear it’s just a hobby for her and adds, “I make dolls only when it pleases me and never to order.”
So If we want Park to knit us a Morrissey-type vicar in a tutu, with a thorn poking out of his side, hand in glove, getting hit by a 10-ton truck, then we’re out of luck.
But what we are left with are the images, and there are plenty.
The scenes are priceless: Morrissey, with his trademark ‘do, slightly grayed, holding a bouquet of roses, chest bared; one where he looks slightly irked, chest bared (a common theme); our favorite is the one where he’s proudly displaying tiny little pink nippies.
There’s Santa Moz, bathrobe Moz, modeling Moz and what looks like a very modest Moz with a garland of gladioli or some other flower delicately draped over his … you know.
At the site allyouneedismorrissey.com, there’s plenty more specs on these tiny dolls.
It took us a second, reading some of these email threads from excited recipients: — but “KM” stands for “Knitted Moz” if you must know.
The description on the dolls includes such juicy details as: “he has pink bead nipples….his quiff is nylon doll hair….. with black suedette boots.”
The materials would appear to be to Morrissey’s liking: email threads say the clothing is made from reclaimed fabrics. But keep Moz away from children and pets — he has small parts.